


Promises

by cutsycat



Series: One shots - Tony centric: Hurt [66]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-18 21:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12396477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutsycat/pseuds/cutsycat
Summary: What if Gibbs and Tony were together before Gibbs went to Mexico? How would that drive Tony's behavior? How would that change things with Jeanne, Jenny, Vance, etc. Just how does Tony handle it when Gibbs breaks the biggest promise of all to him?





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/gifts).



> This is my entry for the 2017 NCIS Big Bang.
> 
> Warnings: This is not a happy Gibbs/DiNozzo story and is told from Tony's POV.
> 
> Big Thanks to Red_Pink_Dots and jane_x80 who helped me by beta reading and omega reading and sometimes just cheerleading me until this was finally finished.
> 
> Red_Pink_Dots did all the lovely artwork for this as you can see in her post [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391494).
> 
> This was inspired by the move The Music In Me, so anyone who has seen that movie may recognize some of the pieces here as a paraphrased some of the things in the movie and in one spot may have done a direct quote.

# 

Promises

Tony watched Gibbs walk out the door. A trail of broken promises following along behind. Not the least, the one Gibbs had made to Tony to always be there.

Tony didn't care about NCIS. He was too busy trying to plug the gaping wound in his heart. He agreed to the undercover op, not because he thought it was a good idea, but because it gave him something to distract himself with.

If he was constantly busy between normal NCIS operations and the undercover op, there was no time for him to dwell on his broken heart. Tony had never broken a promise he'd made. Not to his father, not to Gibbs, not to anyone. 

He'd had many promises made to him that were broken. That's what hurt so bad about Gibbs leaving and why he'd do almost anything to get Gibbs back. He'd always thought that Gibbs would be the one person who wouldn't break a promise to him.

For a while, it was even true. Gibbs gave him hope. He made him believe again. Now, that too had crumbled as Gibbs walked out. 

Promises made. Promises broken. All was out in the open, what remained was yet to be seen.

Tony didn't know where Gibbs had gone. Nor could he bring himself to search for Gibbs. He knew everyone else was looking.

He knew that Ziva had turned to Gibbs, but he couldn't bring himself to be the one to open communications. He had said all he could say when Gibbs left. He didn't know what more there was to say.

When Gibbs showed up in the office, he tried to behave like it was a normal day before Gibbs left, but he couldn't even pull that off. He'd gotten used to telling the team what to do. He wondered if he should consider it a consolation that he was giving the same orders Gibbs did.

Maybe he was a better Gibbs than he thought he was. Still even if he could do the job, there was no replacing Gibbs. Not in his heart nor in the team's eyes.

He wouldn't admit it, but it was a relief when Gibbs left. If there was one thing Ziva's run in with the law taught him, it was that he wasn't ready to face Gibbs sitting across from him on a daily basis. No matter how much he wanted him back.

For once, he returned to Gibbs’ house after work. He just couldn't face Jeanne after seeing Gibbs again. Gibbs mere presence had brought all of his feelings boiling to the surface.

He couldn't handle seeing Gibbs either, but he had to choose between Gibbs or Jeanne’s place. He had nowhere else to go. At least at Gibbs’, he would be left alone. 

He locked himself in the guest bedroom. He knew Gibbs wouldn't notice. Unless Tony showed up in his basement sanctuary, Gibbs seemed completely oblivious these days.

Tony wanted to yell. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to laugh at himself for believing anyone would stay with him forever. When Gibbs called him McGee, it had been like pouring salt onto an open wound.

One Tony hadn't realized was there until it burned with remembrance and pain. One filled with sorrow and loss even though the man himself was still alive. If this were a romantic movie, the guy would explain himself and the girl would forgive him and they'd live happily ever after.

This wasn't a romantic movie, however. This was real life. Guys didn't seek forgiveness when they hurt you. For all he knew, Gibbs had only ever been after the sex.

They'd gotten together shortly after Tony joined NCIS. At first, Tony had thought it great fun as they had sex wherever they could get away with it. Then Kate joined the team.

She didn't mean to, but she changed everything. Suddenly they had to be more careful everywhere. Then Gibbs came up with that stupid rule about never dating coworkers and Tony didn't know where he stood anymore.

Was Gibbs trying to throw people off their scent or was this a hidden message to Tony. One that was supposed to tell him they weren't dating. If that was the case, Tony was beyond confused as to what they were.

This went beyond fuck buddies, but not much further. Gibbs pushed him away whenever he got too close. Tony knew the explosion had messed with Gibbs head and if that had been all there was to it, he would have already forgiven him.

Unfortunately, the explosion was only the tip of the iceberg. Tony had no idea what other secrets Gibbs had been keeping from him. Nor did Gibbs seem anymore open to sharing any of them. 

Then there was Jeanne.

Jeanne who was a lovely person inside and out. Jeanne who had the horrible misfortune to be related to the Frog. Jeanne who wanted to share everything with Tony and it was Tony who kept her at arm's distance.

How could he do anything else when he knew he wasn't being honest with her and that their relationship would end as soon as the op was over? There was nothing he could do that would save his relationship with Jeanne regardless of how the op ended. It made him wonder if that's how Gibbs had felt about him.

If Gibbs had lied to Tony and known going into the relationship that it couldn't be permanent, because the lie would be too much for anyone to forgive. If that's why Gibbs had kept pushing Tony away. It made him wonder if the end of their relationship had been just as hard on Gibbs as it had been on him. Gibbs didn't show it, but Gibbs had always been good at hiding the things that mattered.

Just look at how well he hid his wife and daughter. Tony didn’t blame Gibbs. If he’d lost a wife and daughter under suspicious circumstances, he wouldn’t have wanted to share that with anyone else either. 

Of course, that wasn’t a healthy way to live. It meant Gibbs never really got over his wife and daughter’s death. Tony wouldn’t be surprised if that was a significant part of why the explosion had affected GIbbs so badly. 

Tony couldn't force Gibbs to change if Gibbs didn't want to. The only things Tony could control were his own decisions. When Gibbs came back to NCIS to stay, Tony had to really face up to what he wanted.

In theory, he'd gotten what he wanted. Gibbs was back. In reality, this Gibbs was a stranger.

He walked and talked like Gibbs, but he didn't look like Gibbs. He didn't act like Gibbs either. It was more than a simple lack of memory.

It made Tony wonder if he'd ever actually known Gibbs. Tony struggled to stay by Gibbs’ side. His loyalty constantly warred with his sanity.

It was obvious Gibbs had completely forgotten about their relationship. It was also obvious Gibbs was struggling. As Gibbs was the first to ever see his potential, Tony couldn't bring himself to abandon Gibbs during his time of need.

Every minute spent with Gibbs, though, was like a dagger to his heart. It would be one thing if Gibbs remembered even a little bit about their relationship, but right now he was shutting Tony out even though they still technically lived at the same place. Tony hadn't moved any of his stuff out of their shared room when Gibbs left.

He'd hoped that Gibbs would return and remember him. Gibbs had returned, but not for him. He'd returned for Ziva and then for Fornell.

Worse, Gibbs hadn't even commented on all of Tony's things still in his room. Tony wondered if they were as invisible as he was. Or maybe Gibbs thought they were someone else's.

Gibbs hadn't commented on Tony's presence in his home. Granted Gibbs spent so much time in the basement that Tony wasn't even sure Gibbs realized Tony slept in the master bedroom or guest bedroom, depending on how he felt. That, more than anything, worried Tony.

If Gibbs was so unaware of what was happening around him, Gibbs was a danger to himself in the field. Tony knew he couldn't leave Gibbs until the team could take care of Gibbs or Gibbs could take care of himself. That didn't stop his heart from hurting every time he saw Gibbs.

That didn't stop the constant pain he felt watching the one person who had chosen him, forget about him. It didn't stop the pain as secret after secret that Gibbs had carefully hidden, came out in the open. It made him wonder if he'd ever really known Gibbs. Maybe this Gibbs was the real Gibbs.

Something needed to change before he completely lost it. He couldn't quit NCIS, yet. He couldn't leave Gibbs completely hanging. 

That meant he'd have to move out of Gibbs’ house and find a new place to live. He wasn't sure he was ready to do that either. It would mean giving up on his relationship with Gibbs.

On the other hand, he didn't have a relationship with Gibbs right now, so maybe it wouldn't be giving anything up. Of course, with Gibbs’ lack of situational awareness maybe Tony needed to continue living with him in order to make sure Gibbs stayed safe. Tony didn't know what to do. 

He started looking for a place, comforting himself with the knowledge that even if he found a place he wouldn't have to move. He was just keeping his options open. Even the thought of moving hurt.

When he'd moved in with Gibbs, he thought it was forever. He thought that if he ever moved again it would be with Gibbs. To move without Gibbs would really break his heart.

For a while, he'd kept his apartment. He'd needed it as a safe haven. He’d had a hard time believing his relationship with Gibbs would last. 

Plus, they hadn't wanted anyone to think there was anything odd about their relationship. Then Tony's boiler had blown and he'd changed his address to Gibbs’. When no one had noticed, he'd finally given up his apartment.

No sense in paying for two places. That was biting him in the ass now, though. He'd have to find a completely new place, now. He was sure his apartment wasn't available anymore.

Of course, finding a new apartment wasn't easy when he spent all his hours working. Even with Gibbs back to lead the team, he still had no time to himself. In fact, it was harder to sneak off to Jeanne without suspicion now.

He'd been waffling back and forth between Gibbs’ and Jeanne's place. Both of them were exceedingly painful though for different reasons. It all came to a head when Kort blew up his car.

That was so obvious Gibbs couldn't miss it. Tony wanted to hate director Shepard for the way she handled that situation. However, the truth was he'd half expected something like this to happen.

When things went wrong they really went wrong. Gibbs taking him to task over not sharing classified information was laughable, however. He knew Gibbs would have done the same in his place.

Well probably not in the case, but that had more to do with his past with Jenny than with not sharing classified information. Tony didn't know what Gibbs’ past with Jenny was all about. That was another of those secrets Gibbs happily kept.

Tony pretty much moved into the guest bedroom after that. It hurt too much to even consider sleeping in the bed they used to share. He also spent even more time with Jeanne. Gibbs kept giving him looks like he knew something was wrong, but until Gibbs was ready to talk about it there was no point in pushing. 

Jeanne kept trying to get him to go house hunting with her. It was freaking him out even though he badly needed to get out of Gibbs’ place. Mostly because it meant Jeanne was already committed and with the op closing in on the end that meant hurting a person whose only crime was being a daughter.

He knew that it wouldn't be much longer before his cover was blown. He was thankful that it hadn't blown his cover when his car was blown up honestly. Still when the end of the op came, he wasn't expecting it.

The accusations from Jeanne, the accusations from internal affairs, it was all too much. Gibbs did his best to back him up, but that wasn't much given his memory and lack of awareness. Still it made it hard for Tony to hold onto his hurt and anger towards Gibbs.

He'd told Jeanne the only thing he could that would allow her a chance to move on, move past this, and maybe eventually get over it. Something he would never be able to do. When Jeanne's father ended up dead and she blamed him, Tony couldn't help wondering if there was something he should have done differently.

Should he have told her that he did have feelings for her? Should he have told her that he didn't love her, but he'd been as honest as he could? Should he have told her that if he hadn't met Gibbs they could have had a real relationship?

These thoughts and other what ifs swirled around in Tony's head, driving him crazy. If that wasn't bad enough, things with the team became progressively worse. It was like Gibbs coming back was a sign that Tony truly wasn't fit to lead them.

They didn't stop there though. They seemed to feel that Tony wasn't even useful for solving cases anymore. In the past, it wouldn't have been an issue. 

He'd have talked things over with Gibbs one night in the basement and then dealt with it. Heck he may have even encouraged it. It wasn't that he had no self esteem. 

He knew they didn't see him. He knew the reason they thought that was because of their lack of skills. That didn't stop it from hurting especially combined with Gibbs lack of memory and decision to start dating or having a female fuck buddy or whatever it was he was doing.

Honestly, Tony had no idea what was going through Gibbs’ mind anymore. At least, not on a personal level. They were finding a rhythm at work again, but even there it felt wrong and jarring.

He didn't know where to turn. Both his personal life and his work life were in tatters and it was all thanks to one man. Oh, he knew it wasn't solely Gibbs’ fault.

It was his life, but Gibbs’ actions had definitely had a significant impact. At least, he'd finally found a place to live, so that Gibbs’ sexual pursuits weren't constantly being thrust into his face and rubbing salt on his wounds. He was trying to move on. He really was.

He couldn't help comparing the life he had now to the one before Gibbs went off to Mexico. He kept wishing he could go back to the life before Gibbs left, but that would never be possible. You could only move forward never back.

So he tried to make it work. He tried to handle everything life threw at him, but everyone had their limit and Tony was reaching his. He tried to shove his feelings for Gibbs down and pretend they didn't exist.

He tried to get over Jeanne and the way the op ended. Getting over Jeanne wasn't actually that hard. It was mostly guilt he felt that he hadn't actually loved her the way she deserved.

Before he'd come close to getting over her though, Jenny had chosen him and Ziva to accompany her as her bodyguards for a funeral out of state. It should have been a cake walk. Instead, it turned into yet another disaster and this time it seemed the interim director intended to take it out of Tony's hide.

He’d seen Kort in with the interim director before he’d gotten shipped out and he couldn’t figure out what Kort was up to. First, his car, then shipping him off to be agent afloat. There had to be more going on than what Tony was aware of.

In some ways, he was glad to be shipped out as agent afloat. It had been a complete shock, but once he'd gotten over it he'd realized it gave him some forced distance where he could figure out who he was without outside influences. Of course, communing with his inner self had never been something Tony enjoyed.

He was soon going crazy with the lack of exciting cases and overwhelming papers of boredom. He fell back on his annoying mask to pester his previous teammates and get some kind of normal human interaction. A Navy ship wasn't exactly the best place for humor especially not when you were the only cop among hundreds of men that followed orders for a living.

That didn't mean that the hurt had ended or even that it had dulled. For that reason, he never once reached out to Gibbs. It was always McGee or Abby.

He had to admit, even if it was only to himself, that at least he hadn't been bored when all the ops he was on were going up in smoke. He hated being bored with a passion. Hell, pretty much anything was better than boredom.

That's why he jumped at the chance to get Gibbs to bring him back to the team when a suspicious death on his ship forced them to work together again. Even though nothing had been resolved and just seeing Gibbs brought a harsh pain to his ribs, it was better than being alone on the ship. He wasn't ready to see Gibbs daily. 

The fact that it was better than working as agent afloat should have been a sign. He'd been too happy to get off the ship to see it though. That and he'd naively thought it couldn't get worse. 

It did, though. He’d rented his new apartment out when he’d been shipped out since he was supposed to be gone for at least a year and had no place again. On his return to Gibbs’ place, he found that Gibbs had moved in another female. This time a blond instead of a redhead. Tony wasn’t sure if that was an improvement or not.

There was no way he could stay at Gibbs’ place given that, but he had no choice for tonight. It was way too late to protest and find other options. Grabbing a blanket, he took the couch and hoped for sweet oblivion quickly.

Unfortunately, sleep did not come and instead he laid awake listening to Gibbs and the blond going at it. Tony thought the blond’s name was Colonel Mann, but he wasn’t sure. By the time the sun rose the next morning, Tony couldn't help wondering if it would hurt less to remove his ears.

It wasn’t the first time he went to work on no sleep, but it was the first time he regretted it. It made no difference though. McGee and Ziva still looked down on him. He knew better than to expect help from Gibbs who was still off in his own world. 

Tony knew he needed to find a new place to stay, but they caught a case before he could ask anyone. Tony thought he saw Kort out of the corner of his eye at their crime scene. Even more suspicious of the crime scene, he moved to go in the direction he thought he’d seen Kort. 

Before he could make it to where he’d seen Kort, Gibbs barked, “Where are you going, DiNozzo?”

Tony sighed. He knew he couldn't dig deeper now. Not with Gibbs clearly paying attention to him.

He’d have to figure out what Kort was up to later. He just hoped that nothing worse happened in the meantime. Especially since Gibbs had decided to reinforce the team's belief that Tony did nothing by watching Tony instead of working the case.

Of course, Tony wasn't that lucky. Their one crime scene quickly turned into three as they realized they had a serial killer on the loose. Not all of the crime scenes involved military personnel, but as the murder method was the same between all three, they were working them all.

Already exhausted, Tony did his best, but it simply wasn't good enough. It was impossible for it to be good enough. They needed other NCIS teams helping with the crime scene, but, of course, Gibbs wouldn't hear of it.

Gibbs barked at Tony to move faster every ten minutes. Tony didn't know why Gibbs had fixated on him so much today. He tried not to let Gibbs’ micromanaging get to him.

He could hear McGee and Ziva snickering across the crime scene. Tony tried to ignore it and just work the case. He knew they felt Gibbs’ micromanaging was only what he deserved for his “goofing off”.

As they approached hour 24 on the third crime scene with no reprieve, Tony's exhaustion continued to grow. The snide remarks he periodically heard from McGee and Ziva only increased his frustration. Every time Gibbs barked at him to move faster, it only reminded Tony of what he overheard between Gibbs and the blond the previous night.

Each demand hurt even more for the memory of the promise Gibbs had made to stop seeing others. Tony knew that Gibbs had broken that promise a long time ago, but having to hear it last night had made the broken promise too real. Tony couldn't help wondering if anyone would ever keep their promises to him.

His father hadn't, his first boyfriend hadn't, and Gibbs hadn't. While he knew his skills for work were good, he couldn't help wondering if the broken promises were his fault somehow. Even with that concern, there were only so many put downs Tony could take.

“What is your problem?” Tony growled, getting into Gibbs’ face. He was tired of bastard Gibbs, who only cared about himself. He knew Gibbs didn't want him personally.

Gibbs had made that exceedingly obvious. That didn't stop the hurt as he wondered where his boss who cared about the whole team and keeping them alive had gone. It didn't stop his frustration at not knowing what was up with Kort and why Gibbs didn't seem to notice anything these days.

“You are!” Gibbs snarled back. 

Later, no one would admit to being at fault. The crime scenes had been secured. No one should have been there to accomplish what happened.

In Tony's mind, who was at fault didn't really matter. He beat himself up for dropping his guard more than he could blame anyone else anyway. He knew they had a serial killer on the loose and it wasn't uncommon for serial killers to return to the scene of the crime. They thrived on the power of being just a few feet away and no one knowing.

Waking up to find out he'd been drugged and kidnapped did not bode well for the rest of his day. Waking up to find Gibbs had been kidnapped as well was a blessing and a curse at the same time. Tony, who had never been able to stop his smart aleck side, piped up, “Fancy meeting you, here.”

Gibbs simply growled, “DiNozzo.”

“Guess we found the serial killer, Boss.” Tony replied cheekily. Despite his exhaustion, he was trying to make the best of the situation.

“If you had been paying attention instead of daydreaming like you've been doing the whole case, we wouldn't be in this situation.” Gibbs snarled.

Being polite went completely out the window after that comment, “If I had been paying attention?”, Tony questioned dangerously.

Gibbs grunted.

“What about you?” Tony glared. “You haven't been paying attention for years.”

“I noticed you.”

“Really? And when was that? While you were fucking your latest woman?”

“I always noticed you.”

“So you knew I was living in your home when you came back from Mexico?”

“Of course.”

Tony practically shook with rage. Fortunately or unfortunately, before he could unleash the full depth of his rage on Gibbs, Kort appeared. “Kort.” Tony gasped, narrowing his eyes.

“DiNozzo.”

“Kort.” Gibbs snarled.

“Gibbs. Missing what you let get away, yet?” Kort poked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure, you do. He’s right next to you. For now.” Kort smirked.

Tony’s head flicked back and forth between Gibbs and Kort. He knew they were having a silent conversation about him. Kort made that obvious. 

He just wasn’t sure what was really going on. His hurt and anger with Gibbs still roiled around in his stomach. Combined with the confusion from Kort and the hurt at being excluded from whatever this was, Tony didn’t know what to feel anymore.

“Stay out of it.” Gibbs demanded.

“Oh, no. I think he needs to know the truth.”

“Kort.” Gibbs warned, menace dripping from the word.

Kort turned to DiNozzo with a big grin and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that just screamed, I know something you don't know. “I bet he'd love to hear the real reason you pushed him away since your return from Mexico.” Kort cajoled, looking at DiNozzo, but speaking to Gibbs.

While Tony badly wanted to know what was really going on with Gibbs, he didn't trust Kort as far as he could throw him. Especially not when they were actively tied up and Kort had made no move to help them. The guy always had his own agenda and it was rarely what was best for anyone else.

Tony said nothing. He only returned Kort's stare with his own glare. Until he knew what was really going on here, he would stay quiet. Opening his mouth at this interval would be more likely to hinder their escape than to help it.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Kort.

Tony’s head moved back and forth between them before his exhaustion got the better of him and he blurted, “Can't you at least untie us, so that we can discuss this more comfortably?”

“Nope.” Kort popped his p. “I rather like you all tied up. It's a good look for you.” Kort leered.

Tony glared at Kort. His suspicions that Kort was involved in this case increased. Gibbs glared even harsher at Kort for that comment.

“You can't have it both ways, Gibbs.” Kort commented, noticing Gibbs glare.

Gibbs said nothing. He simply continued to glare at Kort.

Tony was thoroughly sick. Between his stomach and the current male posturing, he just wanted it to end. At this rate, his stomach would get the better of him and he'd throw up even though his hurts were only emotional so far.

Kort looked between Gibbs and Tony, noticing the slight green tinge to Tony's face. Making up his mind, Kort shared, “Gibbs pushed you away because he couldn't stop dreaming of you in Mexico. They always say you hurt the ones you love the most. Of course, he also resented you for not keeping the team from contacting him.”

“Kort, shut up.” Gibbs gasped out.

“What? Afraid he can't handle the truth? Or are you afraid, he'll leave when he finds out everything?”

Gibbs glared, “Don't listen to him, Tony. He's working with the serial killer or is the serial killer.”

Tony rolled his eyes. He had deduced that much for himself when Kort wouldn't untie them. Still just because Kort was clearly crazy didn't mean he wasn't speaking the truth.

Kort pulled out a knife and held it to Gibbs’ throat. “Did you tell him about the letters? Did you tell him that you could have found the serial killer anytime you wanted to?”

Gibbs kept his eyes locked on Kort. This wasn't the Kort he knew. He didn't know what had happened to make the sane CIA agent go off the deep end, but he knew something was wrong. Had known something was wrong since he'd started receiving the letters threatening Tony.

Frustrated at the lack of reaction, Kort nicked Gibbs shoulder. It was barely there. Not even enough to bleed, but Gibbs felt it.

“You should have stopped hurting him when you had the chance, but now I'll make him mine and make you watch.” Kort’s voice turned oily like a snake salesman.

Tony's stomach knotted up even tighter. He was beginning to get an idea of what was going on. Why did all the psychos target him?

Still he couldn't allow himself to fall apart. First, they had to get out of here. Then he could leave.

Oh, he understood better now why Gibbs had pushed him away. The kicker was Gibbs probably thought he was doing the right thing. Tony wondered how long it would take Gibbs to realize that he was the one who'd destroyed their relationship and not Kort.

He wondered if Gibbs would ever realize that in his attempts to protect him, all Gibbs had done was push him away. On top of that, he’d actively hooked up with someone else. It was one thing to push him away to try and protect him. It was another to keep him completely in the dark and still be so selfish as to hook up with someone right in front of him.

Soon Gibbs would simply be another broken promise made to him. He couldn't help wondering if anyone would ever keep their promises to him, but he knew that way of thinking led to madness. He had to keep moving on.

He didn't need a partner to be happy. It would take him a while to get there, but he knew he could be happy alone. He realized he'd put too much of his happiness in Gibbs’ hands.

That wasn't healthy and was part of the reason, their breakup still hurt so much. Next time he wouldn't make that mistake. He wouldn't give up being himself and being happy for his partner.

“Tony!” Gibbs shouted, but Tony didn’t respond. Tony was too lost in his thoughts, so even though he registered someone shouting his name, he couldn’t bring himself back to the real world.

Tony first felt hands on his shoulders shaking him, though he was still deep in his thoughts and not seeing the world around him. Next, he became aware of McGee untying him. Apparently, McGee had traced his location and brought back up. They'd arrested Kort and by the fury Tony saw in Gibbs’ eyes, Tony knew Gibbs would make sure Kort got what was coming to him.

After McGee finished untying him and making sure he was physically ok, Tony was left alone as everyone wrapped up the crime scene. Kort was handcuffed and carted off. Having come to the decision that it was time to leave NCIS and move on, Tony snuck out while everyone was distracted.

He stopped at NCIS only long enough to turn in his badge and gun and to grab the few items that really mattered to him. Gibbs’ medals he left in the drawer. He had no claim to them anymore.

Once that was done, he headed to his apartment and packed up and moved out. He left behind his cellphone and anything that could be used to identify him. It was time to start over and find something he truly loved doing.

Maybe he'd try being a professor of film studies like Jeanne had thought he was. Either way, he was finally moving on. By the time anyone thought to look for him, he was already gone.

He didn't know where he was going. He only knew that it was time for him to put himself first. Only once he was happy with himself would he be able to have a healthy relationship with someone else.

He knew though that a relationship was not the end all, be all. What mattered was not a relationship, but the promise he’d made to himself. The one he'd been breaking trying to make everyone else happy.

What mattered is that he see his promise through and find what made him happy. His journey was only beginning, but at least he was finally on the right path. He was finally going to fulfill the promise he made to himself to be happy.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for Promises](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391494) by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots)




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